hello joe, i am so pleased that you never turned into the horrible people who hurt you.even as a child you had belief in yourself of how you wanted your life to be.you have broken that cycle of abuse and like so many other survivors you have something to be proud of at last (your own wife and children) your abusers battered and bruised you without a thought for anything but their own selfish sick minds and perversions,they tried to crush your mind and soul but there was one thing they could never take away from you (your memory of your dad)the love and protection you got from your dad was always in your memory. like him your a fighter and you know what true love is.you are your dads son joe therefore he is always with you.best wishes to you your wife and children. take care joe love aly x

I finished reading Cry Silent Tears last night,I have never been so emotional/angry,lost sleep over a story I have read or heard in the past. I work closely with people who have experienced abuse in their home, at the hands of those who allegedly love and care for them.
I applaud your survival,wish you all the luck in the world with future projects and eagerly await your next book. Thank you for sharing your life. x

Dear Joe,

I have been reading your book, and there are not words, just if it would help, we share your pain and those terrible days. I've become aware just lately (now that I'm 36 years old) that I was sexually abused from my dad for almost all my childhood, and carrying on with life seems to be so hard sometimes,but seeing you: one more survivor, your situation was much worst than mine, and I totally admire you, what a brave boy, and what a great man. Share the happiness and the proud of all of those like me read and find hope through your heart. Sending you a lot of love!!! Claudia

I just wanted to say i think you are a very incredible man to be able to overcome the horrible things that happened to you! .. i cried alot during reading your book. It only took me two days to read it, it was such a tremendous story, during in reading it i just wanted to help you. It made me think of how bad our society can be and how many children out there could be going through something similar. You have changed the way i think about life and how lucky i am to have a loving family and a nice home. You are an inspiration and a truely amazing man. Take care!

hi Joe i have just finished your book.. once i started reading it i couldn't put it down. Some part's in the book made me cry but im so happy for you that you have found the strenght and moved on in your life. I would love to read your second book as i got straight into ' Cry Silent Tears' I think your an amazing person for what you have been through and that you have got a family of your own!! Could you message me to let me know what your seconf book is called please as i would really like to read it.

Hollie xx

i would just like to say that i have just started reading cry silent tears well page 13 to be exact and it has moved me and my mum to tears it is so intense. megan xxx

Like many others, I couldn't put down "Cry Silent Tears" the minute I started on it. I finished it in 4hrs. I'm terribly sorry to have read what you had to go through. No one and especially no kid should go through what you did. I wished I could have been one of your schoolmates back then to help you or at least ease the pain & hurt even if a little. I'm a believer of karma; truly what goes around comes around. I wish you a lifetime of peace, happiness, love & health with your soulmate/wife and five blessed children; you so deserve them all and as do they...you. Let's continue the crusade to educate the public, anyone & everyone we possibly can on very real issues such as Child Abuse and Human Trafficking. www.mtvexit.org

My name is Misha. Since the age of 8 my life has been miserable. It is only now in the past 3 years that I have been truly happy. My Mother was stabbed to death by my father. This is something my little sister and myself had to see. Minutes later my father, who had killed his first wife as well, was taken away in a police car. Although he never harmed a hair on our body, we had to see him beat, rape, strangle and also had to see other men have sex with her.
When he was sent to jail we had to live with my aunt, her boyfriend and her three sons. None of them wanted to keep me as I reminded them of my father.

They would take my sister out for the day and leave me locked up in the garage. They use to beat me so severely that I could not go to school. I was only eight. After a month of my mother's death my youngest cousin, who was 17 at that time started to touch me. The rest of the family would then decide to go out and leave me at home with him. As soon as the car disappeared around the corner, he would tell me to take off my clothes and get in the bath. He would then wash me and put his fingers inside my private area. after that he would take me to the room and ask me to lick him on his private parts. Many times he forced himself in my mouth that the edges of my mouth tore open. This went on for a few months before he actually started penetrating me. It became a sick game for him and not long after that his friends came to the house as well. They would play all kinds of games with me and I can remember being so sore at night that I could not even wear underwear. My sister and me use to sleep in a single bed together. After seeing my mother die, she had terrible nightmares. She would wet the bed and when I woke up my aunt to tell her she would smack me and tell me to sleep in it. She would then get up and put my sister with them in the bed and I would be forced to sleep in the urine. The next morning she would tell everyone it was me and her boyfriend would give me a beating and make me wash it. When we had time to play my sister was aloud to play where everyone could see her and also able to talk to guest. Because they were ashamed of me for looking like my father and reminding them of what happened to my mother, they would make me sit behind the couch in the corner and not make a sound until the guests are gone. Everybody use to pretend that I did not exist. I was not aloud to go with them to the shops, go to the beach and was always left at home in the maid's care. She too was an alcoholic and she would take off leaving me alone at home.

Because my sister was only 4, she did not really see anything wrong. All she needed was a mother and I had to play the part. Until this day I love her dearly and I would climb the highest mountain for her. She started to see that if she did not have her will that I got the beating for it. My aunts boyfriend would tell her I was very naughty and that she had to hit me on my mouth. As result of that I lost two of my teeth.

9 Months later it was like a dream come true. The welfare came to introduce us to a couple that wanted kids so badly and could not have any. The family wanted to keep my sister but was more than happy to get rid of me. The couple refused that we were split up and insisted on taking us both. I could not have been happier. This was my change to get away from my cousin and his friends and have a new start with my sister.

A few months past when I realised I was no better off than with my biological family. The man started getting in to bed with me at night and touching me. He would make me touch him back. He would put his mouth on mine and ask me to beg him for more. By this time I was 10. I was so scared. He kept on telling me that if I told anyone they would give me away and I would never see my sister again. I absolutely adored my sister and I could not bare being without her. His wife had depression and was in bed most of the time. He was also always off having affairs and out in pubs. She was controlling and needy and I took care of her most of the times. Because she had 5 miscarriages she was absolutely obsessed with Charlene and me. She did not let us go anywhere, we had no friends and she extremely scary. If we did not do what she wanted she would tell us that we were would end up like my father. She would yell murderer at me the whole time, telling me how much they have lost trying to keep us. When We did something wrong, she would normally hold us down while he beat us with his belt until we bled. If we did try to fight back or cry, they would hit us even harder. I still hear my sister's screams in my head. It was horrible that I could not do anything.
The next four years was absolute hell. With him molesting me the whole time and being imprisoned with no friends and no life I started rebelling. When I was fourteen I started stealing money for kids in my class in order to make friends. I caused trouble in class and stopped eating. I ran away from school, but because the town we lived in was so small, they always managed to find me. I stopped eating and a week before my 15th birthday I tried to commit suicide. They found me in the bathroom with 2 month supply of anti depressants in my system and a box of sleeping pills. I woke up in the hospital three days later. I had to go through months and months of psychology treatments and they decided to send me to boarding school. I was so happy, cause I would finally escape him and my horrible life. I still had to see them over weekends but 8 days of abuse was better than having it every single day.
At the new school I managed to fit in and make friends. I was an absolute nightmare. I started smoking, drinking and skipping school. Before I knew it, I stopped eating again and fell into a terrible depression. At the age of 16 I tried to commit suicide yet again. This time it was more serious than the previous time and I only woke up two weeks later. When I saw my little sister next to my bed looking so worried I finally got why I was still alive.
There was no way around it- she needed me to take care of her and protect her. I promised her that I would always be there and nothing will ever happen to her. That weekend when I went home, he came into my room.

Before he could say anything I blurted out :" If you ever touch me again, I will F&^*&en kill you. It is in my blood and I will not hesitate for a moment." He went absolutely pale in his face and broke down and started crying. He told me how sorry he was and that he did not know why he did that to me. For some reason I just felt so powerful at that moment and for the first time I was in control.- I knew everything was going to be ok.

A lot of things has happened since then , but I can tell you that I am finally happy. I have a lovely boyfriend who I have been with for two years. He takes care of me and respects me. He does not know everything yet, but from time to time I share it with him. We are planning to move back to South Africa next year and start our lives there. My sister lives on her own in South Africa and also has a lovely boyfriend. She will be 20 next month. We speak to each other every day.

I have always wanted to write a book, but the hurt was too much and I never went further than the first page. Your book has inspired me. I would love to meet you and your family. I am so happy that things worked out for you and that you were able to move on. I sometimes still struggle with anger and feel that justice has not really taken its toll properly yet.

I am looking forward to your second book and if I manage to finish mine, I will send you a copy. Best of luck with your new book and with your website.

May God protect and bless you.

This book shows you that no matter how hard life hits you, you can come out on top. I hope that people will have a chance to read this book and pass it on to someone else. We need to help children speak out-
Lovely book

hi joe, when i got your book i realised i couldnt put it down and ive just finished it. well your book gave me tears a few times of all the things you have been through, that i never had imaged could happen to someone. you are a very strong person to open up to the whole world as you did to police and others but a blind eye got put to it. people who write books about there life after being abused are the people who i look up on the most as i never realy knew how a mother could do such things. i m so sorry foe your lose of your dad but he would be so proud of you joe for becoming the person you are now after all of this. i just hoped that the people who did the worse to you should of suffered. im glad the book ended in a happy way for you now you have your own family and being the best dad you could be. i respect you joe after all you had to go through and im proud of what the outcome was right at the end of it. you done well so far so i do wish that you have a happy life with your family. good luck. danielle.xxxxx