Can I firstly say this is Child abuse she is talking about not porn! As there are thousands of victims of child abuse suffering right now as we read the paper, there are also thousands of survivors of abuse who have kept the secret for their perpetrator to protect them for 30 years or more. The writer is saying that it’s ok for a child, now an adult to have been abused and still silent so as not bringing to justice their perpetrator, that the ‘hurtful titbits’ as she so disregarding puts it are merely a bit of gossip that have got out of hand within a family… what planet is she on?

In the article, it seems to me that books written by survivors of abuse are being slated as untrue accounts that are exaggerated for point of sale, also that the survivor has only one objective to writing their memoir and that is to make money from a story. These are true accounts of terrible violations and experiences that as children they were subjected to and have kept secret like they were told. Why? Because they felt dirty, they felt like it was their fault and that they were in the wrong. They were not wrong, bad or dirty.

The writer of this article clearly lives in a gloriously protected world filled with hearts and flowers where there are pink fluffy rabbits running in daisy filled meadows. Happy memories you say, well actually if you ask any survivor of abuse what they remember about that time and they will tell you that at the time there were some happy times, the bits they grabbed for comfort and life as an abused child at the time feels ‘normal’. Normal is pretence; normal enables survival because they know no difference.

The reason these books are so popular? Just maybe statistics could be a little out and there are many more survivors of abuse and violation out there that maybe interested may need camaraderie and may need as an adult survivor to not feel alone anymore… Just maybe? What do you think? I cannot believe that someone would generalise this type of book as disgruntled adults that have had a bad time and want pay back. I cannot understand how anyone can attempt to justify any form of abuse unless they are an abuser.

The article states that ‘these books’ are seeking to make a few bob out of old abuse’ Old abuse! What! You think that once the touching, the rape, the violence, the years of being tortured and keeping the secret is over, it simply goes away?

Let me tell you it doesn’t, a survivor of abuse in childhood carries the belief they are worthless and inadequate into adulthood, thus unable to form healthy relationships, unable to be rational at times, unable to be free of the filth inflicted on them and the confusion of feeling guilty, taking responsibility for the blame they have had to carry because they dare to mention they were wronged. But most of all ‘us’ the survivors are aware that it exists, it is real not just a story. By telling the story, the once victim, now a survivor gives the story clarity and truth that has gone unsaid, it gives the story worth and by unleashing the awful truth the survivor is able to be free of it, put it in the past and use it positively to grow as a person and help others.

In the article it also mentions that, ‘these books’ on the shelves at home, in shops and in airports read by holiday makers are not acceptable reading for our children. That she says, in fact, by having these books on our bookshelves we are inflicting abuse on our children, the children the government feel the need to teach sex education to at 5yrs old to prevent teenage pregnancy. So, we don’t give that sort of information, we protect the children from reality from potential risk, we keep abuse a deep dark secret so if, God forbid, our children were approached by an abuser we have actually taught them that this violation is just an unsaid secret as the perpetrator will confirm as he/she whispers ‘this is our little secret’ is that what we do? Or do we make it known that unfortunately in our society there may be some bad people and we have to keep ourselves safe and tell someone we trust if something that doesn’t feel right is happening. Perhaps every parent should have a trusted person as an extra confidant, maybe it could be a good idea to make it clear to our children we are there for them and it’s safe to tell us anything.

These books are written from a place of compassion, from a place of passion and deep deep self discovery, so don’t slate them, don’t take away their clarity and don’t try to disregard these real human beings that have survived the worst of violation to a child, the betrayal of trust taking advantage of a venerable trusting child. These books have reason for being, to give insight and awareness to the very person who wrote the article because ‘what do you know?!’