Comments on: Abused becomes Abuser? http://www.joepeters.co.uk/2008/10/23/abused-becomes-abuser/ Tue, 07 Sep 2010 10:08:55 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6 By: jaime flanaghan http://www.joepeters.co.uk/2008/10/23/abused-becomes-abuser/#comment-1931 jaime flanaghan Thu, 18 Jun 2009 11:38:58 +0000 http://www.joepeters.co.uk/?p=367#comment-1931 I was abused from the age of 6 to 23yrs by my mother alot of people may think that 23 is quite old to be abused however my mum controled everything i did and had a good way of making me think different things even though i had a child and married i couldnt break away from her, however the time came when she hit me and my husband was so upset by it he told me i had to go to the police so he came along with me and i gave a statement they were the only ones ( apart from my husband) i spoke to about the abuse in detail they turned around and told me that there wasnt anything they could do it felt like a kick in the teeth she was told to stay away from me and i havent had contact with her or my family for years it was so upseting that i poured everything out just to be told that.I have two children now and i would never dream of doing anything to them they are my world. People need to be aware of the symptoms of all the types of abuse as i went to school in some states and no one picked up on anything even neighbours and family who saw what was happening decided to stay quite. Its not true that people who are abused become abusers im along with alot more people are evidence of that. its been 6 yrs since the abuse stopped and i still struggle with life however i know with the support and love of my children and husband ill get through it, it will just take time. keep up the good work joe your book made me realise i wasnt alone x I was abused from the age of 6 to 23yrs by my mother alot of people may think that 23 is quite old to be abused however my mum controled everything i did and had a good way of making me think different things even though i had a child and married i couldnt break away from her, however the time came when she hit me and my husband was so upset by it he told me i had to go to the police so he came along with me and i gave a statement they were the only ones ( apart from my husband) i spoke to about the abuse in detail they turned around and told me that there wasnt anything they could do it felt like a kick in the teeth she was told to stay away from me and i havent had contact with her or my family for years it was so upseting that i poured everything out just to be told that.I have two children now and i would never dream of doing anything to them they are my world. People need to be aware of the symptoms of all the types of abuse as i went to school in some states and no one picked up on anything even neighbours and family who saw what was happening decided to stay quite. Its not true that people who are abused become abusers im along with alot more people are evidence of that. its been 6 yrs since the abuse stopped and i still struggle with life however i know with the support and love of my children and husband ill get through it, it will just take time.
keep up the good work joe your book made me realise i wasnt alone x

]]> By: shawty playa (age:15) http://www.joepeters.co.uk/2008/10/23/abused-becomes-abuser/#comment-376 shawty playa (age:15) Tue, 13 Jan 2009 22:04:52 +0000 http://www.joepeters.co.uk/?p=367#comment-376 i dont think this is the consept it is that people blame you for somthing you havent committed this is slandourous and im not taking sides but if they dont have solid facts on it then they should drop the acusations and let this person live a fruitfull life ok some abused have become abusers because they havent seen that the life they lived was in a wrong way and maybe they havent seen the life outside abused doors even then this is still wrong. i dont think this is the consept it is that people blame you for somthing you havent committed this is slandourous and im not taking sides but if they dont have solid facts on it then they should drop the acusations and let this person live a fruitfull life ok some abused have become abusers because they havent seen that the life they lived was in a wrong way and maybe they havent seen the life outside abused doors even then this is still wrong.

]]> By: concerned http://www.joepeters.co.uk/2008/10/23/abused-becomes-abuser/#comment-161 concerned Tue, 11 Nov 2008 23:26:04 +0000 http://www.joepeters.co.uk/?p=367#comment-161 It is a sad fact and common misconception that the abused with become an abuser - would a victim of burglary go burgle someone else? Of course not. Yes, there are exceptions to the rule as there are to every rule but the majority of people who have experienced abuse and suffred at the hands of bad parents grow up to treasure life and the families that they build. I was abused when I was young - first by my father and then by my "foster" father. This went on for a number of years whilse my alcoholic mother stayed in a state of semi consciousness thanks to sherry and sleeping tablets. Social services failed me because they simply didn't care enough to understand WHY I ran away, why I made several attempts at my own life, why I was such a disturbed and frightened girl. I grew up yearning for a stable environment where I would be safe - not, as Social services would make out, someone to abuse myself. Thankfully, I met a wonderful man just as my life had hit rock bottom and he picked me up and loved me in a way I never thought possible and we now have 2 gorgeous kids and have been married for 7 years. My kids receive all of the love nad encouragement I never did - no raised voices, safe home and attention from the second they wake to when they fall asleep to a story. Please, don't judge everyone by the 1 bad outcome social services - perhaps instead of judging that which you have nol idea of, focus your energy into spotting the signs that a child is in need of your help and direction and DO something to help them! It is a sad fact and common misconception that the abused with become an abuser - would a victim of burglary go burgle someone else? Of course not. Yes, there are exceptions to the rule as there are to every rule but the majority of people who have experienced abuse and suffred at the hands of bad parents grow up to treasure life and the families that they build.

I was abused when I was young - first by my father and then by my “foster” father. This went on for a number of years whilse my alcoholic mother stayed in a state of semi consciousness thanks to sherry and sleeping tablets.

Social services failed me because they simply didn’t care enough to understand WHY I ran away, why I made several attempts at my own life, why I was such a disturbed and frightened girl.

I grew up yearning for a stable environment where I would be safe - not, as Social services would make out, someone to abuse myself.

Thankfully, I met a wonderful man just as my life had hit rock bottom and he picked me up and loved me in a way I never thought possible and we now have 2 gorgeous kids and have been married for 7 years. My kids receive all of the love nad encouragement I never did - no raised voices, safe home and attention from the second they wake to when they fall asleep to a story.

Please, don’t judge everyone by the 1 bad outcome social services - perhaps instead of judging that which you have nol idea of, focus your energy into spotting the signs that a child is in need of your help and direction and DO something to help them!

]]> By: Petergaye hutton http://www.joepeters.co.uk/2008/10/23/abused-becomes-abuser/#comment-160 Petergaye hutton Tue, 11 Nov 2008 19:03:08 +0000 http://www.joepeters.co.uk/?p=367#comment-160 No one has the right to judge joe after what he as being through.Social Service workers need to put more effort in what they are doing and pay more attention to their work.Those that are not doing it,they all need to read cry silent tears.I know that it will help them save other children that are being abuse buy their parent,family member are close family friend.we all need to show love to everyone and care for each other child.Teacher need to pay attention to child ren behaviour and let them know that they can trust them.Any one that are going throught what joe as being through please seek help dont be afraid ,are shame because it is not your falt. No one has the right to judge joe after what he as being through.Social Service workers need to put more effort in what they are doing and pay more attention to their work.Those that are not doing it,they all need to read cry silent tears.I know that it will help them save other children that are being abuse buy their parent,family member are close family friend.we all need to show love to everyone and care for each other child.Teacher need to pay attention to child ren behaviour and let them know that they can trust them.Any one that are going throught what joe as being through please seek help dont be afraid ,are shame because it is not your falt.

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