Comments on: Survivors Unpublished Memoirs of Child Abuse http://www.joepeters.co.uk/2008/09/14/survivors-unpublished-memoirs-of-child-abuse/ Mon, 06 Feb 2012 18:26:53 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6 By: BEVERLEY http://www.joepeters.co.uk/2008/09/14/survivors-unpublished-memoirs-of-child-abuse/#comment-1962 BEVERLEY Mon, 06 Jul 2009 21:29:44 +0000 http://www.joepeters.co.uk/?p=323#comment-1962 MAY THE GOD I LOVE AND SERVE HEAL YOUR BROKEN HEARTS... I PRAY FOR PEACE FOR EVERY ONE OF YOU AND KNOW EVEN THOUGH YOU MIGHT NOT BELIEVE BUT ONE DAY THEY WILL HAVE TO BE JUDGED FOR THERE ACTIONS .. ALL MY LOVE AND PRAYERS BEVERLEY XXXXXXX MAY THE GOD I LOVE AND SERVE HEAL YOUR BROKEN HEARTS… I PRAY FOR PEACE FOR EVERY ONE OF YOU AND KNOW EVEN THOUGH YOU MIGHT NOT BELIEVE BUT ONE DAY THEY WILL HAVE TO BE JUDGED FOR THERE ACTIONS ..
ALL MY LOVE AND PRAYERS
BEVERLEY XXXXXXX

]]> By: Leann Fitz http://www.joepeters.co.uk/2008/09/14/survivors-unpublished-memoirs-of-child-abuse/#comment-1930 Leann Fitz Thu, 18 Jun 2009 04:43:46 +0000 http://www.joepeters.co.uk/?p=323#comment-1930 I must admit that I was very mad at God after reading this true story...I have been through really tough times and allways got through with Gods help. But this story hit me straight in the heart, and the gut. I read two other books before this about child abuse, but this story was the worse case of abuse I ever heard of. I'm 34 years old and I wish I had some kind of "super powers" to rid the earth of child abusers. I just want to protect every child in the world, and I know that is not humanly possible. But, because of these true stories that are comming out, I hope that changes will come, maybe slowly, but changes none the less. Like myself...I have thought about being a foster mother in the past, and never done it. But because of Joe Peters story, I had to make the call and get the ball rolling on being a foster mother. I allready have a beautiful 6 year old little guy of my own, and when I read this story I was thinking "how the hell could anyone be so evil?", I wanted to be there and hug the child in the book and nuture and care for him. But, somehow he is a grown man now,thankgod. I know I couldn't be there for Joe, but I can and will give some other children safety, love patience and anything else they may need, and I have plenty of. I'm a stay at home mother, because I don't trust anyone to watch my child. People trust their most prized gifts to others to often, not knowing for sure what could be happening to their child. I know there is a God, I have witnessed too many unexplained things, but I would still like to know why? I know that God and the angels had to be with him because the things he was put through would have killed others. His story had to be to help others maybe? I will never forget this story, and have passed my copy on in hopes to get word around. I'm tired of abusers getting by with what they do. I might piss some people off, but I really think people like these abusers should have done to them, what they do to a child and then executed. It is a fact that you can't rehabilitate a sex offender. If courts don't have the guts to execute these abusers, they could call me. I think about how when my little boys legs hurt at night from growing pains, and I give him some childrens Tylenol and rub his little legs, and how Joe laid in the place he was in pain, in the dark and lonely and I swear, it about makes me throw up. I look at my sons little feet and hands when he is sitting next to me, and I think "How the hell can a abuser look at a childs little hands and feet, not yet developed and still cross that line? I really believe some people should be "fixed" too, why do we fix animals from having puppies, but let abusers go around and have as many children as they want? I will do my part, and protect as many children as I can. And I will risk loseing my heart when I get attached to them, and they get adopted out, or go back with their horrible parents, but at least I will try, and after being in my home, they will know to tell someone when someone is hurting them, and I will try to make them strong enough to not be scared. Because I have enough love in my heart, so much that it feels like it is bursting out of my chest, to give to many, many innocent, gifts from God, children. One last thing...to anyone reading this that may be getting abused, please know that you can call on your angels to help you or be there for you anytime, I may get mad at God because of these kinds of things, but I know he is there, and I have seen angels, and know they are there. Please tell someone, tell more then one, and don't be embarresed, it is NOT your fault. Leann I must admit that I was very mad at God after reading this true story…I have been through really tough times and allways got through with Gods help. But this story hit me straight in the heart, and the gut. I read two other books before this about child abuse, but this story was the worse case of abuse I ever heard of. I’m 34 years old and I wish I had some kind of “super powers” to rid the earth of child abusers. I just want to protect every child in the world, and I know that is not humanly possible. But, because of these true stories that are comming out, I hope that changes will come, maybe slowly, but changes none the less. Like myself…I have thought about being a foster mother in the past, and never done it. But because of Joe Peters story, I had to make the call and get the ball rolling on being a foster mother. I allready have a beautiful 6 year old little guy of my own, and when I read this story I was thinking “how the hell could anyone be so evil?”, I wanted to be there and hug the child in the book and nuture and care for him. But, somehow he is a grown man now,thankgod. I know I couldn’t be there for Joe, but I can and will give some other children safety, love patience and anything else they may need, and I have plenty of. I’m a stay at home mother, because I don’t trust anyone to watch my child. People trust their most prized gifts to others to often, not knowing for sure what could be happening to their child. I know there is a God, I have witnessed too many unexplained things, but I would still like to know why? I know that God and the angels had to be with him because the things he was put through would have killed others. His story had to be to help others maybe? I will never forget this story, and have passed my copy on in hopes to get word around. I’m tired of abusers getting by with what they do. I might piss some people off, but I really think people like these abusers should have done to them, what they do to a child and then executed. It is a fact that you can’t rehabilitate a sex offender. If courts don’t have the guts to execute these abusers, they could call me. I think about how when my little boys legs hurt at night from growing pains, and I give him some childrens Tylenol and rub his little legs, and how Joe laid in the place he was in pain, in the dark and lonely and I swear, it about makes me throw up. I look at my sons little feet and hands when he is sitting next to me, and I think “How the hell can a abuser look at a childs little hands and feet, not yet developed and still cross that line? I really believe some people should be “fixed” too, why do we fix animals from having puppies, but let abusers go around and have as many children as they want? I will do my part, and protect as many children as I can. And I will risk loseing my heart when I get attached to them, and they get adopted out, or go back with their horrible parents, but at least I will try, and after being in my home, they will know to tell someone when someone is hurting them, and I will try to make them strong enough to not be scared. Because I have enough love in my heart, so much that it feels like it is bursting out of my chest, to give to many, many innocent, gifts from God, children. One last thing…to anyone reading this that may be getting abused, please know that you can call on your angels to help you or be there for you anytime, I may get mad at God because of these kinds of things, but I know he is there, and I have seen angels, and know they are there. Please tell someone, tell more then one, and don’t be embarresed, it is NOT your fault. Leann

]]> By: paula http://www.joepeters.co.uk/2008/09/14/survivors-unpublished-memoirs-of-child-abuse/#comment-1723 paula Fri, 20 Mar 2009 17:31:55 +0000 http://www.joepeters.co.uk/?p=323#comment-1723 first of all i would like to say sorry for my spelling mistakes through out my story x After reading all of the stories on this page im not sure wot to rite, i have been planing it for so many years to!!! so hear i go and i hope it makes sence. ive been negleted in so many ways by my mum dad and alot of family members from very early in my life but i dnt think now is the time for what happend in the begining so ill start in the middle. i was placed with my aunt (grate) after my dads girl friend made him choise between me and my yonger brother and he picked her ,my other sibblings went to another aunt. in the begining things were so good we wer treated realy well and they spoiled us rotten but they ended all so sudden, you see my aunt ran a home for boys and after a time i became a target. in the home there wer 3 main abusers but 1 will stay with me till the day i die i dnt think i can say his name so ill call him tom. i was only 9 when he came to live with us at the home he was 16 i think and it startd happeningg quickly first he was being nice but to nice !! then it was tickling but it wasent funny as he kept geting my chest or between my legs and that hurt alot. then things only got worse he started being horrid calling me names saying my aunt was telling him to which didnt supprise me at all as she had already told the lads there they could hit me insted of her doors (nice to no the doors were more inportant than me) then he started comeing in to my room in the morning sayin he had been told to surch me as money had gone missing again and i had taken it ,so i took off my shoes an socks but he wanted me to remove the rest of my clotheing i was so embbarassed i had just started pubity . i did as i was told then he told me to spred my legs and bend over that was my first strip serch but there would b many more to come over the next 4 years the way he kept me quiet was by threterning that he was going to cut me up in little bits and put me out with the rubish as he told me he would get excitded an make me rub him it was his fantisy and i realy belived him i did try and go 2 the police but they never belived me and never invesrgated it which was a shame as in 1991 he carried out his dream,she was a young 17 year old and lived under his flat and he killed her raped and dissmemberd her bodie and put het out with the rubbish. this is just one thing that happend to me there are many many more i have been raped and abused by about 17 diffrent people and had to go through my brother rapein my 3 year old daughter to but thats another story i just hope one day i get to tell my side of the story as it carnt stay under the carpet much longer thank you for reading xxx first of all i would like to say sorry for my spelling mistakes through out my story x

After reading all of the stories on this page im not sure wot to rite, i have been planing it for so many years to!!! so hear i go and i hope it makes sence.

ive been negleted in so many ways by my mum dad and alot of family members from very early in my life but i dnt think now is the time for what happend in the begining so ill start in the middle.

i was placed with my aunt (grate) after my dads girl friend made him choise between me and my yonger brother and he picked her ,my other sibblings went to another aunt.

in the begining things were so good we wer treated realy well and they spoiled us rotten but they ended all so sudden, you see my aunt ran a home for boys and after a time i became a target. in the home there wer 3 main abusers but 1 will stay with me till the day i die i dnt think i can say his name so ill call him tom.
i was only 9 when he came to live with us at the home he was 16 i think and it startd happeningg quickly first he was being nice but to nice !! then it was tickling but it wasent funny as he kept geting my chest or between my legs and that hurt alot.
then things only got worse he started being horrid calling me names saying my aunt was telling him to which didnt supprise me at all as she had already told the lads there they could hit me insted of her doors (nice to no the doors were more inportant than me) then he started comeing in to my room in the morning sayin he had been told to surch me as money had gone missing again and i had taken it ,so i took off my shoes an socks but he wanted me to remove the rest of my clotheing i was so embbarassed i had just started pubity .
i did as i was told then he told me to spred my legs and bend over that was my first strip serch but there would b many more to come over the next 4 years the way he kept me quiet was by threterning that he was going to cut me up in little bits and put me out with the rubish as he told me he would get excitded an make me rub him it was his fantisy and i realy belived him i did try and go 2 the police but they never belived me and never invesrgated it which was a shame as in 1991 he carried out his dream,she was a young 17 year old and lived under his flat and he killed her raped and dissmemberd her bodie and put het out with the rubbish.

this is just one thing that happend to me there are many many more i have been raped and abused by about 17 diffrent people and had to go through my brother rapein my 3 year old daughter to but thats another story i just hope one day i get to tell my side of the story as it carnt stay under the carpet much longer thank you for reading xxx

]]> By: caroline m. http://www.joepeters.co.uk/2008/09/14/survivors-unpublished-memoirs-of-child-abuse/#comment-1722 caroline m. Thu, 19 Mar 2009 23:52:07 +0000 http://www.joepeters.co.uk/?p=323#comment-1722 Hello Joe, I want to write my book. Can you please advise me and tell me how publishers wish to receive it? Do you have to do it on Adobe? I only know Pagemaker would that be acceptable do you know. Please let me know when you have a moment Joe would appreciate that very much. I think you will have my email address. Many thanks Joe. Caroline M Hello Joe, I want to write my book. Can you please advise me and tell me how publishers wish to receive it? Do you have to do it on Adobe? I only know Pagemaker would that be acceptable do you know. Please let me know when you have a moment Joe would appreciate that very much. I think you will have my email address. Many thanks Joe. Caroline M

]]> By: Donna Lawrie http://www.joepeters.co.uk/2008/09/14/survivors-unpublished-memoirs-of-child-abuse/#comment-247 Donna Lawrie Wed, 26 Nov 2008 23:33:30 +0000 http://www.joepeters.co.uk/?p=323#comment-247 I was so excited, I couldn’t run quick enough. I was going to be in the newspaper. The whole family wanted to see my picture, I was so proud of myself. Mom had given me enough money to get a few copies. So, there I was running to the shop as fast as my legs would take me, my lungs quickly filling and emptying with the warm summer air. I was seven years old, I hadn’t done anything special to be in the paper. I was just chosen because I was the new kid in school. I had my picture taken with a police officer to promote a new crime prevention scheme. As soon as I returned home I rifled through the paper to see my picture, and there I was, on page 16, standing next to the policeman with a shy smile across my face, knee high socks, a polka dot dress and my new sandals. It was so exciting, I couldn’t stop looking at it. I’d never been in the paper before, I felt like a celebrity. Twenty years later and I still have that newspaper clipping. Twenty years later and I am doing the same thing. Searching through the paper to find an article. This time though, there is no enthusiasm, no excitement. Just shame, embarrassment and the hope that no one I knew would see it. I didn’t run to the shop to buy as many copies as money would allow me. My sister went to the shop for me, just buying a copy for me and one for herself. This time it wasn’t me in the paper, it was my Dad and it was nothing to be proud of. My sister returned to the car with the paper and we both sat in silence as she searched her copy to find the article. It had made page 22. There was no picture to gleam over with pride, just the biggest headline I had ever seen. It read ‘Instructor Jailed for Raping Boy’. I felt sick reading it, my heart pounding, my body shaking and my eyes locking the tears away causing my throat to ache. That feeling was back, from the previous day when I sat in the court room and heard the judge say 14 years. That feeling of guilt and shame, like I had committed a crime. I was so excited, I couldn’t run quick enough. I was going to be in the newspaper. The whole family wanted to see my picture, I was so proud of myself. Mom had given me enough money to get a few copies. So, there I was running to the shop as fast as my legs would take me, my lungs quickly filling and emptying with the warm summer air. I was seven years old, I hadn’t done anything special to be in the paper. I was just chosen because I was the new kid in school. I had my picture taken with a police officer to promote a new crime prevention scheme. As soon as I returned home I rifled through the paper to see my picture, and there I was, on page 16, standing next to the policeman with a shy smile across my face, knee high socks, a polka dot dress and my new sandals. It was so exciting, I couldn’t stop looking at it. I’d never been in the paper before, I felt like a celebrity. Twenty years later and I still have that newspaper clipping.

Twenty years later and I am doing the same thing. Searching through the paper to find an article. This time though, there is no enthusiasm, no excitement. Just shame, embarrassment and the hope that no one I knew would see it. I didn’t run to the shop to buy as many copies as money would allow me. My sister went to the shop for me, just buying a copy for me and one for herself. This time it wasn’t me in the paper, it was my Dad and it was nothing to be proud of. My sister returned to the car with the paper and we both sat in silence as she searched her copy to find the article. It had made page 22. There was no picture to gleam over with pride, just the biggest headline I had ever seen. It read ‘Instructor Jailed for Raping Boy’. I felt sick reading it, my heart pounding, my body shaking and my eyes locking the tears away causing my throat to ache. That feeling was back, from the previous day when I sat in the court room and heard the judge say 14 years. That feeling of guilt and shame, like I had committed a crime.

]]> By: donna http://www.joepeters.co.uk/2008/09/14/survivors-unpublished-memoirs-of-child-abuse/#comment-135 donna Sun, 26 Oct 2008 23:27:38 +0000 http://www.joepeters.co.uk/?p=323#comment-135 BIRTH TO 2 IN AND OUT OF CARE MOTHER A DRUNK AND ABUSER BIRTH TO 2 IN AND OUT OF CARE FATHER AN ABUSER 2-16 IN FOSTER CARE ABUSE THE WHOLE TIME THERE NO ONE BELIVED ME FOR 14 LONG AND LONELY YEARS 13 MET UP WITH BIRTH MOTHER WENT TO MEET MY (NEW) FAMILY SHE LET HER BROTHER REPETADLY RAPE ME 16 HAD FIRST CHILD RELATIONSHIP VOLATILE 19 HAD SECOND CHILD GOT MARRIED THEN HAD 3RD CHILD DIDNT THINK YR HUSBAND COULD RAPE U GOT ME PREGNANT 8 TIMES AFTER WEDDING BUT ONLY ALLOWED ME TO KEEP ONE KICKED OTHERS TO A DIFFERENT LIFE 24 FOUND COURAGE AND LEFT HIM 24 YES I NO I WAS WEAK TOOK HIM BACK ( BUT HE HAS CHANGED?) 25 HE NEARLY KILLED ME I GOT POLICE INVOLED(IN THIS TIME I WAS WITH HIM HE BEAT ME RAPED ME BEAT MY KIDS. 2005 AGE 27----- WOW I HAVE FOUND SOME ONE WHO TRULY LOVES ME AND MY 4 KIDS. INBETWEEN THIS TIME I FACED A LIVING HELL I WILL NOT GO INTO IT AS EVEN TOUGH ITS 11/12 YRS AGO IT IS STILL VERY VERY RAW AND HURTS TO DEEPLY. BUT GUESS WHAT I CAME OUT THE OTHER END WITH NOTHING BUT PITY FOR EVERY ONE WHO HAS HURT ME AND THATS BECAUSE I AM A BETTER AND MUCH STRONGER PERSON THEN ANY OF THEM WILL EVER BE BIRTH TO 2 IN AND OUT OF CARE MOTHER A DRUNK AND ABUSER
BIRTH TO 2 IN AND OUT OF CARE FATHER AN ABUSER
2-16 IN FOSTER CARE ABUSE THE WHOLE TIME THERE NO ONE BELIVED ME FOR 14 LONG AND LONELY YEARS
13 MET UP WITH BIRTH MOTHER WENT TO MEET MY (NEW) FAMILY SHE LET HER BROTHER REPETADLY RAPE ME
16 HAD FIRST CHILD RELATIONSHIP VOLATILE
19 HAD SECOND CHILD GOT MARRIED THEN HAD 3RD CHILD DIDNT THINK YR HUSBAND COULD RAPE U GOT ME PREGNANT 8 TIMES AFTER WEDDING BUT ONLY ALLOWED ME TO KEEP ONE KICKED OTHERS TO A DIFFERENT LIFE
24 FOUND COURAGE AND LEFT HIM
24 YES I NO I WAS WEAK TOOK HIM BACK ( BUT HE HAS CHANGED?)
25 HE NEARLY KILLED ME I GOT POLICE INVOLED(IN THIS TIME I WAS WITH HIM HE BEAT ME RAPED ME BEAT MY KIDS.
2005 AGE 27—– WOW I HAVE FOUND SOME ONE WHO TRULY LOVES ME AND MY 4 KIDS.
INBETWEEN THIS TIME I FACED A LIVING HELL I WILL NOT GO INTO IT AS EVEN TOUGH ITS 11/12 YRS AGO IT IS STILL VERY VERY RAW AND HURTS TO DEEPLY.
BUT GUESS WHAT I CAME OUT THE OTHER END WITH NOTHING BUT PITY FOR EVERY ONE WHO HAS HURT ME AND THATS BECAUSE I AM A BETTER AND MUCH STRONGER PERSON THEN ANY OF THEM WILL EVER BE

]]> By: Louise Borthwick http://www.joepeters.co.uk/2008/09/14/survivors-unpublished-memoirs-of-child-abuse/#comment-114 Louise Borthwick Wed, 08 Oct 2008 16:59:03 +0000 http://www.joepeters.co.uk/?p=323#comment-114 I am a nearly 40 yr old woman now, I should be exhausted and thrown the towel in. I haven't I'm stronger than that and my childhood trauma has provided me with such strength and insight. I was adopted when I was 6 wks old, I believe the adoption process causes abandonment emotions even to those who go to good homes with loving families. My adopted mother was terminally ill from when I was 4 and my emotionless father did his best. I new I was adopted from the age of 5 yrs old by accident and didn't react well. I was subject to sympathy by society for being different, I had an ill mother, no parenting and I was rebelling, I became different. After my mothers death when I was 10 my father decided to go join a dating agency to find me a mother! He did and married her, she had 2 sons one younger and one 6yrs older. The older one befriended me and took advantage of my vulnerability. On my father's and step mother's wedding day when I was 12 he raped me and continued to abuse me until I left home at 15 yrs old. The initial damage was done but I was not done with destructive behaviour as that was all I knew. I married at 18, mistake, He was a violent bully and I lived in a domestic violent life for a further 4 yrs. I had 2 children by the time I was 20 and when I left I had another on the way. My children are my life. I married again for security that turned into sheer bordom and had a further 2 children. This time it was a silent bully, which is worse? Trying to be normal without knowing what normal is can be tricky. I met my natural mother when I was 28 and experienced unconditional love for the first time ever. My Mum committed suicide a year later. Before her death I shared a whole year of completeness, I had a Mum. This loss did crack me up I lost it lived it up and did rash things. Decided to move away and left for a new life. I got divorced again.... Will I ever learn?? I did well, I started a business and it was very successful I managed to get a mortgage and buy my home couldn't afford it but had it for a while, had a nice car. On the surface I was doing well, I wanted to hold on to that so much but I couldn't. I was on my own with 5 dependant children running a business working 60hours a week with 4 staff and trying to pay for everything... I was out of my depth and had noone to turn to for help. Boyfriends came and went with more personal attacks wanting free rides or someone to lie to. I walked around my house not knowing what to do for the best, I asked for something to happen to take me away.... One night I had been out with the latest of the boyfriends and due to the lack of trust and alcohol an argument broke out. That resulted in me driving my car and I had an accident... someone died and I went to prison... The end Of me, the person I was also died that night. 3 yrs on I have decided to launch a website and believe that all my experiences have to be for a reason. A positive reason my lessons have been a gift and if I can help one person gain self worth again the life lost has a purpose and I've made it all matter. I have survived so much now I have a great future ahead of me. I am a nearly 40 yr old woman now, I should be exhausted and thrown the towel in. I haven’t I’m stronger than that and my childhood trauma has provided me with such strength and insight.
I was adopted when I was 6 wks old, I believe the adoption process causes abandonment emotions even to those who go to good homes with loving families. My adopted mother was terminally ill from when I was 4 and my emotionless father did his best. I new I was adopted from the age of 5 yrs old by accident and didn’t react well. I was subject to sympathy by society for being different, I had an ill mother, no parenting and I was rebelling, I became different. After my mothers death when I was 10 my father decided to go join a dating agency to find me a mother! He did and married her, she had 2 sons one younger and one 6yrs older. The older one befriended me and took advantage of my vulnerability. On my father’s and step mother’s wedding day when I was 12 he raped me and continued to abuse me until I left home at 15 yrs old.
The initial damage was done but I was not done with destructive behaviour as that was all I knew.
I married at 18, mistake, He was a violent bully and I lived in a domestic violent life for a further 4 yrs. I had 2 children by the time I was 20 and when I left I had another on the way. My children are my life. I married again for security that turned into sheer bordom and had a further 2 children. This time it was a silent bully, which is worse?
Trying to be normal without knowing what normal is can be tricky.
I met my natural mother when I was 28 and experienced unconditional love for the first time ever. My Mum committed suicide a year later. Before her death I shared a whole year of completeness, I had a Mum.
This loss did crack me up I lost it lived it up and did rash things. Decided to move away and left for a new life.
I got divorced again….
Will I ever learn?? I did well, I started a business and it was very successful I managed to get a mortgage and buy my home couldn’t afford it but had it for a while, had a nice car. On the surface I was doing well, I wanted to hold on to that so much but I couldn’t. I was on my own with 5 dependant children running a business working 60hours a week with 4 staff and trying to pay for everything… I was out of my depth and had noone to turn to for help. Boyfriends came and went with more personal attacks wanting free rides or someone to lie to.
I walked around my house not knowing what to do for the best, I asked for something to happen to take me away….
One night I had been out with the latest of the boyfriends and due to the lack of trust and alcohol an argument broke out. That resulted in me driving my car and I had an accident… someone died and I went to prison… The end
Of me, the person I was also died that night.
3 yrs on I have decided to launch a website and believe that all my experiences have to be for a reason. A positive reason my lessons have been a gift and if I can help one person gain self worth again the life lost has a purpose and I’ve made it all matter.
I have survived so much now I have a great future ahead of me.

]]> By: Donna http://www.joepeters.co.uk/2008/09/14/survivors-unpublished-memoirs-of-child-abuse/#comment-90 Donna Sat, 20 Sep 2008 21:09:44 +0000 http://www.joepeters.co.uk/?p=323#comment-90 Subject: One day I'll fly away. Donna, 27, Birmingham. It all in my head, I could write fifty books so I just wanted to put bullet points and maybe ellaborate another time. Age 1-5 = Myself, my sister and my mother beaten by my father. Age 5 = My mom has an affair with my dads married best friend and becomes pregnant with my brother, the boy she always wanted. My parents divorce, If I was a boy they would still be together, according to my dad. Mom begins beating my sister and I, Dad continues when we visit on weekends. Age 6 = My sister is abused by an old man who lived up the road from us, whilst I was there. I kept my sisters secret, if only I had let him abuse me he would have left her alone, I wish I has told someone, but I didn't talk much. Age 7 = Dad stops hitting us, mom gets worse. My sister tells police about the old man but they say it's too late to do anything. Age 8-13 = Bullied and beaten at school. Age 11 = arrested for shop lifting. Age 12 = mom tells boyfriend of sisters abuse and he bullies her for it. Mom kicks my sister out, alone now. Age 14 = hope, mom not hitting so much, she's in love and he's finally a great guy, great after all the other monsters shes dated. Cousins boyfriend B tells me he's in love with me Age 15 = the usual crap, moms fab boyfriend is killed in a motor accident. Dad tells me he is gay. Mom starts dating B 15-25 B kisses me, traps me in a room till I tell him I love him, which I wouldn't do. uncle tells people he slept with me, he didn't I tell mom about B but she doesn't believe me Age 23, B kicks me out, homeless Age 23, dad arrestes for indescent images on computor of children, 3 months prison - I give him a second chance. Age 24 have counselling - doesn't work Age 24, mom leaves B as kicked brother out and I help her, so give up my flat to help with house. Age 25 mom and brother go back to B I am homeless Age 26, still homeless sister lets me stay at hers but can't get to uni, so move in with dad Dad arrested for indescent images again, and rape of a male minor ten years ago. Age 27, waiting for Dads sentencing, I hope he gets life Subject: One day I’ll fly away.

Donna, 27, Birmingham.

It all in my head, I could write fifty books so I just wanted to put bullet points and maybe ellaborate another time.

Age 1-5 = Myself, my sister and my mother beaten by my father.
Age 5 = My mom has an affair with my dads married best friend and becomes pregnant with my brother, the boy she always wanted.
My parents divorce, If I was a boy they would still be together, according to my dad.
Mom begins beating my sister and I, Dad continues when we visit on weekends.
Age 6 = My sister is abused by an old man who lived up the road from us, whilst I was there.
I kept my sisters secret, if only I had let him abuse me he would have left her alone, I wish I has told someone, but I didn’t talk much.
Age 7 = Dad stops hitting us, mom gets worse.
My sister tells police about the old man but they say it’s too late to do anything.
Age 8-13 = Bullied and beaten at school.
Age 11 = arrested for shop lifting.
Age 12 = mom tells boyfriend of sisters abuse and he bullies her for it.
Mom kicks my sister out, alone now.
Age 14 = hope, mom not hitting so much, she’s in love and he’s finally a great guy, great after all the other monsters shes dated.
Cousins boyfriend B tells me he’s in love with me
Age 15 = the usual crap, moms fab boyfriend is killed in a motor accident.
Dad tells me he is gay.
Mom starts dating B
15-25 B kisses me, traps me in a room till I tell him I love him, which I wouldn’t do.
uncle tells people he slept with me, he didn’t
I tell mom about B but she doesn’t believe me
Age 23, B kicks me out, homeless
Age 23, dad arrestes for indescent images on computor of children, 3 months prison - I give him a second chance.
Age 24 have counselling - doesn’t work
Age 24, mom leaves B as kicked brother out and I help her, so give up my flat to help with house.
Age 25 mom and brother go back to B
I am homeless
Age 26, still homeless sister lets me stay at hers but can’t get to uni, so move in with dad
Dad arrested for indescent images again, and rape of a male minor ten years ago.
Age 27, waiting for Dads sentencing, I hope he gets life

]]> By: Clau http://www.joepeters.co.uk/2008/09/14/survivors-unpublished-memoirs-of-child-abuse/#comment-81 Clau Wed, 17 Sep 2008 23:43:30 +0000 http://www.joepeters.co.uk/?p=323#comment-81 I'm from Colombia, I'm 36 years old and came to London 6 years ago. For about six months, i've became aware i was sexually abused by my dad for almost all my childhood. I grew up thinking that the pain touching continually my intimate parts was "normal" part of my growth, that it was part of all girls's life to have secrets moments with their dads. I grow up with my mum, my brother and two younger sisters. And just next to us, used to live all my dad's family: my grandmum, grandad, uncles and aunts. All of them are very religious people; for the outside, we all were a normal, good family. Since always my mum knew what was happening but she chose to keep it hide and continue our lives as nothing was happening. So i had always to go to school, to smile, to pretend all was fine. My mum used to make for my sisters and me, beautiful dresses, and so all seemed happy and fine. Later my dad's family found out about the abuse, but all of them asked my mum to keep in hiden and promise to help her with our "education". So, i wento to all catholics ceremonies, dressing all those pretty dresses, but at the end, there was always my dad, whowold find the moment to take me, needing each time more and more form me to be satisfaid. I alesys wanted it to finish soon, so i wpuld be able to go back outside to carry on playing with my brother and sisters. My mumstaretd to hate me and took it as i was having an affair with my dad. I couldn't deal so well with school, friends, anything oy anyone. My dad's family treated me as a kind of devil's girl who tempted his dad, who was so weak to resist her. He was jus a weak man with a devil girl. All tha nightmare stopped when o got the firs perdiod, by then all inside of me was destroyed. And form then i just did was i was taught by my mum:nothing happened, and until now i suffered kind of anesthesia about the painful parts of my past. Being in London, feeling for the very firt time finally safe, learning a new lenguage, living a new culture, woke up that childhood that i tried to forget and take out of me. I feel totally grateful with survivor like Joe, who through his history, teaching us to give our first steps in our recovery,it's not easy to put it into words!!! I’m from Colombia, I’m 36 years old and came to London 6 years ago.
For about six months, i’ve became aware i was sexually abused by my dad for almost all my childhood.
I grew up thinking that the pain touching continually my intimate parts was “normal” part of my growth, that it was part of all girls’s life to have secrets moments with their dads.
I grow up with my mum, my brother and two younger sisters. And just next to us, used to live all my dad’s family: my grandmum, grandad, uncles and aunts. All of them are very religious people; for the outside, we all were a normal, good family.
Since always my mum knew what was happening but she chose to keep it hide and continue our lives as nothing was happening.
So i had always to go to school, to smile, to pretend all was fine. My mum used to make for my sisters and me, beautiful dresses, and so all seemed happy and fine.
Later my dad’s family found out about the abuse, but all of them asked my mum to keep in hiden and promise to help her with our “education”.
So, i wento to all catholics ceremonies, dressing all those pretty dresses, but at the end, there was always my dad, whowold find the moment to take me, needing each time more and more form me to be satisfaid. I alesys wanted it to finish soon, so i wpuld be able to go back outside to carry on playing with my brother and sisters.
My mumstaretd to hate me and took it as i was having an affair with my dad.
I couldn’t deal so well with school, friends, anything oy anyone. My dad’s family treated me as a kind of devil’s girl who tempted his dad, who was so weak to resist her. He was jus a weak man with a devil girl.
All tha nightmare stopped when o got the firs perdiod, by then all inside of me was destroyed.
And form then i just did was i was taught by my mum:nothing happened, and until now i suffered kind of anesthesia about the painful parts of my past.
Being in London, feeling for the very firt time finally safe, learning a new lenguage, living a new culture, woke up that childhood that i tried to forget and take out of me.
I feel totally grateful with survivor like Joe, who through his history, teaching us to give our first steps in our recovery,it’s not easy to put it into words!!!

]]> By: Amy http://www.joepeters.co.uk/2008/09/14/survivors-unpublished-memoirs-of-child-abuse/#comment-75 Amy Tue, 16 Sep 2008 18:33:24 +0000 http://www.joepeters.co.uk/?p=323#comment-75 I am 16. MY family was perfect in my eyes. I had my mum, dad, K (sister, now 20), S (sis now 17), B(sis now 14) and J (brother now 13). We lived in a big house my dad was a policeman and earned good money. I was always the daddys girl. he left my mum when i was 13. I didnt want my mum and chose to live with my dad and didnt speak to my mum the whole 18 months. Bad idea. He lived in a small flat and i slept on the floor in the living room. He was very often drunk and used to tell me how much he loved me. I was very happy and hoped my siblings were jealous. One night he came and lay next to me. The next 18 months speaks for itself really. One night i ran away from my dad and was wandering the streets and was attacked and raped. I went back to my dads feeling like i had nowhere to go. One night after his usual tricks he said he was going to get social services to take me away. He didnt need to. Once the idea was in my head that was it. I then got moved into my first care home, this is when i realised i needed my mum. I started self harming and took plenty of overdoses. i spent new years eve 07 in a mental hospital and my birthday (jan) in hospital. Another overdose. The hardest thing was seeing my mum and not having the strength to tell her why i was doing this. I couldnt cope with people or myself for that matter and i wanted to die. I sterted drinking heavily then smoked my first spliff. After about a week i had taken nearly all the drugs you could name. One night i was talking to one of the staff and we were sitting around a campfire. i started talking about my childhood and before i knew it i had told him everyhting. This was when i stopped drinking and doing drugs. I decided it was too hard for me to go to the police as my dad is a police man. I have sorted my habits out and i have just started my first job in a nursery. My youngest sister B has been my saviour. Without her i wouldnt be here now. I am moving out of this childrens home soon and going to be a lodger. This is very scary for me and i still dont think i will be able to cope. But to all you suffering who feel you have no1 to turn to its hard but talking was the best thing i ever did. My mum and I are so close although i wish i could see my family more often i treasure everything when they come to see me. I just love my cuddles from my mummy. I am 16. MY family was perfect in my eyes.
I had my mum, dad, K (sister, now 20), S (sis now 17), B(sis now 14) and J (brother now 13).
We lived in a big house my dad was a policeman and earned good money.
I was always the daddys girl.
he left my mum when i was 13.
I didnt want my mum and chose to live with my dad and didnt speak to my mum the whole 18 months.
Bad idea.
He lived in a small flat and i slept on the floor in the living room.
He was very often drunk and used to tell me how much he loved me. I was very happy and hoped my siblings were jealous.
One night he came and lay next to me.
The next 18 months speaks for itself really.
One night i ran away from my dad and was wandering the streets and was attacked and raped.
I went back to my dads feeling like i had nowhere to go.
One night after his usual tricks he said he was going to get social services to take me away.
He didnt need to. Once the idea was in my head that was it. I then got moved into my first care home, this is when i realised i needed my mum. I started self harming and took plenty of overdoses. i spent new years eve 07 in a mental hospital and my birthday (jan) in hospital. Another overdose. The hardest thing was seeing my mum and not having the strength to tell her why i was doing this. I couldnt cope with people or myself for that matter and i wanted to die. I sterted drinking heavily then smoked my first spliff. After about a week i had taken nearly all the drugs you could name. One night i was talking to one of the staff and we were sitting around a campfire. i started talking about my childhood and before i knew it i had told him everyhting. This was when i stopped drinking and doing drugs. I decided it was too hard for me to go to the police as my dad is a police man. I have sorted my habits out and i have just started my first job in a nursery. My youngest sister B has been my saviour. Without her i wouldnt be here now. I am moving out of this childrens home soon and going to be a lodger. This is very scary for me and i still dont think i will be able to cope. But to all you suffering who feel you have no1 to turn to its hard but talking was the best thing i ever did. My mum and I are so close although i wish i could see my family more often i treasure everything when they come to see me. I just love my cuddles from my mummy.

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